are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
did i walk over a car last night?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
