I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think your dad took our porno
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
