If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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