I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
