Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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