I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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