How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
