Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
