Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
