I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
