this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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