Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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