She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
