I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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