Kareoke will never be a sober sport
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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