Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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