I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
