I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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