i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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