Already got asked if we're dating
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
