Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
third nipple confirmed
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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