I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
