Me. At least after what I've been through.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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