i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
