i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
