thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
