what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
