Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
