Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
