can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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