i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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