once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
