How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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