I wish i was in the wii world.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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