It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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