So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I will be naked everywhere
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
