Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
