Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
