Yo dont text me then not text me
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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