Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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