Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well douche your snatch and let's go!

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  (919): Well douche your snatch and let's go! http://tfl.nu/3ukm
  Replies (5) Good night (1616) Bad night (847)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal

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  (312): Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight. (773): You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal http://tfl.nu/9vmu
  Replies (9) Good night (1788) Bad night (801)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"

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  (317): sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president" http://tfl.nu/8jue
  Replies (21) Good night (6806) Bad night (1558)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.

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  (313): The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not. http://tfl.nu/y4k4
  Replies (12) Good night (2416) Bad night (5941)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."

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  (609): I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila." http://tfl.nu/how1
  Replies (25) Good night (5515) Bad night (2547)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3746) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .

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  (902): New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever . http://tfl.nu/6kwm
  Replies (6) Good night (2941) Bad night (1201)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.

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  (573): You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now. http://tfl.nu/pagz
  Replies (7) Good night (4164) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.

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  (509): Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape. http://tfl.nu/qdov
  Replies (7) Good night (3123) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.

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  (914): He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/pgtg
  Replies (3) Good night (2049) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.

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  (902): Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos. http://tfl.nu/64bd
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (306)
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  (408): View more from California

  Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.

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  (408): Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher. http://tfl.nu/o3bs
  Replies (4) Good night (630) Bad night (419)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside

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  (402): I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside http://tfl.nu/9ftj
  Replies (4) Good night (437) Bad night (193)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.

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  (804): My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst. http://tfl.nu/b8sh
  Replies (4) Good night (759) Bad night (229)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please

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  (973): if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please http://tfl.nu/glaf
  Replies (2) Good night (204) Bad night (576)

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