Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder