It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
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How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
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You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?