Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(812): View more from Indiana

my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.

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(404): View more from Georgia

just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.

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(434): View more from Virginia

Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(479): View more from Arkansas

Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.

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(785): View more from Kansas

They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.

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(305): View more from Florida

I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape

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(516): View more from New York

I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.

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