im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
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I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist