Can Purell be used as lube?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
