Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so explain again why im purple
no
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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