Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
