So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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