also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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