Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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