My Higher Power is John Stamos
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
