i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
