so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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