i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
All I want is dick and wine.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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