It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
the condom got lost in my hair
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
