Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
