Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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