Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
