the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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