did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize