i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
