i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
