this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
