Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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