I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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